A Killer wants Vern to review The Black Tape


Hello Readers


I should inform you all as of right now , there is a killer standing right behind me watching me type every word.  My waist is tied to a chair and to make sure I don’t runaway.  He has driving a ball and chain into one of my feet( I knew I shouldn’t have requested we watched Lars Von Trier’s Antichrist last night) I’m in a lot of pain right now and had to sleep on the concrete floor last night. So I’m not in the greatest mood to write this review.  However the food has been just amazing.  For breakfast I had an Eggs Benedict with a side of fresh fruit that…. Sorry my captor informs me that I’m getting off track with this review.   Who is this mysterious person, you ask.  Well I thought he was a director who wanted me to review his movies.  I love being able to support independent cinema, and getting filmmakers to send me their work is a big honor. However this is not the best way to get my attention.  Now my captor assures me that no harm will come if I give an honest review of his work. I fell for that once already when I tried to review The Smurfs and ended up cutting off my own fingers because it would be less painful.  Still I am a professional and can do an honest review no matter what situation I’m in.

FINAL Blurbs-Facebook

The movie begins with a text about newspapers and TV Stations getting sent these videos called The Black Tape which is amazing because I had no idea that there are still places that can play VHS tapes.  The videos are made by a guy who looks like he could be a member of Slipknot..”OUCH”…Umm Buckethead mixed with Jonathan Davis from Korn…”OUCH”…FINE! This really creepy guy in a mask who is stalking and recording this family without them ever knowing it.  Yes, it’s another one of these found footage films that most of you are getting sick of.  I don’t have a problem when directors want to use them, but sometimes I feel that they are not necessary for the story and instead are just a way to save a few bucks.  The Visit would have been way better if it wasn’t a found footage flick. Same thing goes for The Last Exorcism or any of the Paranormal Activity sequels(The first one is still good and it holds up quite well).  Movies like The Blair Witch Project and Man Bites Dog use the format, but in a much more creative way, and I have to applaud my captor for using it in a clever way too.   Most of these movies where a person or an entity is stalking a family.  The members are usually generic and are usually just tropes.   A wife sees creepy things but the husband doesn’t believe her.  There is one older kid who is rebellious and hates their parents while a younger one talks to the being like a friend who then later turns out to be all evil dick.  In The Black Tape,the family is a little bit more complex and we find out the some of them have the same wary morals as my captor.


The movie is presented somewhat out of order which can be just a bad gimmick when not used right, but in this it works very well.  I liked seeing some of the footage be shown twice because it has a slightly different content when repeated.  The only thing I wasn’t a fan of was some of the sound design….”OUCH”…For the most part it was really good and it delivered some great tension in certain scenes.  But there was one moment when the father makes a discovery that sounded like someone forgot to shut off their car alarm..”OUCH!!..HEY DO YOU WANT AN HONEST REVIEW OR NOT”….

face2The family were quite convincing in this.  Elina Madison and Alan Marsh were good as the parents  and the same thing goes for their three kids,Melaine Thompson,Parker Coppins and Viktoria Stonebrooke.   I thought our killer was also really good with his performance too.  He was the kind we don’t see much of in horror movies.  The slow silent type who doesn’t haft to run to catch up to his victims, but can evoke fear by just standing still.  Micheal Myers would be proud.  Although I do question some of his music tastes especially when he is shown driving…”OUCH”

I genuinely enjoyed The Black Tape and think you should check it out when it comes to a town near you.  I don’t know when I will be released , and it may be a while before my captor lets me go.  He does inform me that if Lionsgate or any other big studio buys this.  He’ll release me earlier.  Untill then have a good day everyone.


My captor was quite upset that I forgot to put the links to his websites earlier.  He let me know how displeased he was by cutting my face with a straight razor and then pouring lemon juice in the wound.


Official website of The Black Tape: www.theblacktapemovie.com
Follow The Black Tape Killer on Twitter: https://twitter.com/blacktapekiller
Like the Black Tape Killer on  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/blacktapemovie



About The Vern

I love movies and I enjoy writing about them too. They both go pretty much hand in hand with each other and it's fun to discover new classics. I co host the podcasts The Film Pasture, ScreenTrax, and soon Cinema Recall. While also contributing reviews and articles to other great sites when I can.
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2 Responses to A Killer wants Vern to review The Black Tape

  1. emmakwall says:

    Haha, great intro Verny!!!! I love how you were being held kidnapped and in pain by a murderer yet still see the bright side of life with that amazing breakfast!

    Nice review, I’d certainly watch this.

    And this made me laugh –

    ” The videos are made by a guy who looks like he could be a member of Slipknot..”OUCH”…Umm Buckethead mixed with Jonathan Davis from Korn…”OUCH”…FINE”

  2. The Vern says:

    Awww Thank you Emmy. Your kind words have indeed helped out my day. I am excited to hear your thoughts on this one. Im sure I can find you an online screener if you want

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