I know I’m suppose to be on vacation right now,but after reading Eric from The IPC’s thoughts on Birdman(Or The Unexpected Virtues of Ignorance). I think it’s only fair for me to write about a real pretentious piece of shit that many of you actually enjoyed watching. The Avengers Age of Ultron
Now when it was first announced that they are going to be doing an Avengers flick back in 2012. I got really excited because I thought they were finally going to give a proper big screen adaptation to the 60’s television series with Emma Peel and John Steed.
However she could not match the charisma and sex appeal that Diana Rigg had in the series. Think of a British version of The X-Files, but with added jokes and more sex appeal and you have The Avengers.
But instead they decided to do a big screen adaptation of the Marvel. OOPS Sorry I mean Disney’s Marvel’s The Avengers. Featuring Iron Man, The Hulk, Thor, Captain America and 2 others you would of forgotten about if one of them wasn’t played by Scarlet Johansson.
I was never a fan of the comics nor any of the other characters featured in it. I once had a collection of X-Men, Spider-Man, Daredevil, Spawn, and Batman issues, but never owned ones of The Avengers. I thought they were all kind of bland and dull. Too goody goody for me to care bout their adventure. However The first Iron Man movie got me really excited and It was fun to watch how these different films could go together and end up as the end film The Avengers. If it wasn’t for Joss Whedon directing this. I don’t think I would be as thrilled to to check it out. Luckily it turned out to be pretty good.
Now we are at the end of Marvel’s. AHEM!! Sorry, I meant Disney’s 2nd phase cash grab with Avengers:Age of Ultron. In this one, we had some great movies like Captain America:Winters Soldier and some shit ones like Thor: The Dark World. Mainly because they put Kat Dennings in just layers of clothes. Chris Hemsworth gets to be topless throughout the whole movie, and while his man boobs are nice. They are not as nice as Miss Dennings, as you will see below.
OK so in Avengers: Age of Ultron. Tony Stark wants to create an artificial defense program that he got from the weapon of the last villain they fought. Nothing could go wrong here right. So the program becomes Ultron and the way he thinks to save the world is to eliminate all of humanity. From his perspective is does kind of make sense, because humans are the cause of war and other problems. It would be better if Ultron went more of a HAL route (if I have to explain that reference. You are not a movie fan) in terms of solving the problem. Instead he turns into a villain almost out of Batman but I did enjoy a lot of the humor James Spader brought to the roll. However his best roll was with Maggie Gylenhaal in Secretary.
The movie also introduced us to Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch. Played by Aaron Johnson and Elizabeth Olsen. They want revenge on Tony Stark, because his weapons were once used to destroy their homes and kill their parents. You know from the first flashback that these two will be working with Stark and The Avengers. Them being there was kind of redundant, and would have loved seeing a different movie with them instead. At least that way they could get rid of all that backstory and just have them kick ass. Seeing Scarlet Witch tap in to the minds of the other Avengers was a lot of fun, and I would have loved it if they kept her as a villain in this.
The biggest problem I had with this sequel was the whole romantic angle they tried to give Black Widow and The Hulk. I never saw them talk to each other in the first movie. Much less have any real connection. Now in this one, she’s all ready to get some of that Jolly Green Giant goodness. Hulk is a little taken back by her flirtation. Maybe he feels like he would hurt her in bed, I don’t know. She’s battled around a lot of big bad guys, Hulk. I’m pretty damn sure she can handle your penis.
The way it would go down if Hulk has sex with his first girlfriend.
Oh and can someone explain why Natasha AKA Black Widow is the only one to calm down or rile up Bruce aka The Hulk. I have read that Joss Whedon had a longer version, but the movie is already past 2 hours. Why did Disney feel that removing those elements would make this a good movie. You could have cut down some of the fight sequences and put in a little more exposition in terms of story. Is that such a bad thing to do The movie even starts at a battle that never explains how they got there. It was good, but it didn’t make a lick of sense Sorry I have not seen Agents of Shield, and don’t always stay to the end of each Marvel Movie like I should. Was I suppose to. Disney, You’re pissing me off.
After the awesome flick, Guardians of The Galaxy. Avengers: Age Of Ultron feels really lifeless in comparison. It doesn’t have the blend of humor and action the first one did. I really think these actors are just burned out on these roles. I hope that Disney improves their stature when they do Civil War. Hell I think everyone should watch Super instead(also directed by James Gunn of Guardians)
A lot of other things are going on that I will be sharing with you on my next post. I wrote a cool review for another site, appeared as a guest on a podcast , contributing weekly articles to another site, and got a nomination from some great bloggers. I’ll also be asking for some guests to be on the next episode of Film Pasture. So be on the look out for that next week. Love you.