The Vern’s Troma Challenge: Return to Nuke ‘Em High. Vol 1

 People who say that Troma movies are ones made mainly by dumb people for dumb people most likely have not seen any titles from the company.  They know them just through what others have said and also of the little clips they have seen.   A lot of gore followed by a lot of nudity, surrounded by cliche characters and run of the mill story plots.  Now, I’m not saying that this one doesn’t have that.  In fact all of their movies do, but what makes these movies stand out from other shlock cinema makers is that they purposely are making an exploitation feature.   People may say the same thing about “The Room” and “Sharknado“, and maybe their right.  I don’t know I have not seen those yet.  But they still have that somewhat serious vibe of filmmakers who still want you to like them.  Troma on the other hand doesn’t give a fuck, and that’s why I will always love them.  The latest movie I looked at was the follow up to their classic feature “Class of Nuke ‘Em High“.   The aptly named title “Return to Nuke ‘Em High. Vol 1“

Return to Nuke ‘Em High Vol 1.

Cast: Catherine Corcoron, Asta Paredes, Clay Von Carlowitz
Writers: Travis Campbell, Casey Clapp, Dereck Dressler, Lloyd Kauffman, Aaron Hamel
Director: Lloyd Kauffman

After an introduction by Stan Lee retelling events that happened in the first movie and some clips from the various sequels.  We are informed that Tromorganic has opened up it’s health conscience factory where the nuclear waste site once was.  Which just happens to be right next to Tromaville High.  Nothing could go wrong this time, right…..Ahem I said “right”.   Well back to the review.  President Lemmy(That’s right Lemmy from Motorhead) has commissioned Tromorganic owner Lee Harvey Herzkauf(Lloyd Kauffman) to use their products in the school’s cafeteria.  The meat may be green, but that is the new image the company wants anyway.  Before I continue any further, I feel I should let you know about some of the other characters.  Our two main heroines for this tale is Chrissy(Asta Paredes).  A health food blogger who has been exposing the danger of Tromorganic foods to the people and Lauren (Catherine Cocoran).  A rich girl who wants more out of life and owns a pet duck named Kevin.  When these ladies both meet, it’s not pretty.(I’m talking more about the situation because they both come from different backgrounds.  Not the actual girls themselves because they are both very hot).   They soon discover that they do have a lot in common and start to develop a serious and also very hot relationship.    Their  hands exploring each other’s bodies,  caressing their soft skin and  feeling their breasts touch the other’s.  Tongues teasing the nip…um … Oh I forgot you were still there, sorry about that folks….Um Let’s get back to the review.

So after a few  kids are exposed to the meat from Tromorganic’s Taco Tuesday, they begin to change.  One of the changes happens when the glee club mutates into the Cretines.   Apparently when radioactive waste gets into your body in Tromaville.  It makes your clothes change as well as you getting make up too.  The kid’s wheelchair also miraculously changes for no reason too.  After the Cretines violate Lauren by sticking Kevin the duck in her mouth( FYI, the term duck rape should only be used in a Troma movie.  No where else.) She is picked up by Chrissy who helps her remove the foul and they go off to a house party together.   The party itself is pretty freaking sweet because it has the band Rapedoor live.  Seeing them at a few house parties myself in Minneapolis was a pretty sweet experience.

At the party, both Lauren and Chrissy are exposed to the toxic waste where one grows a giant dick that eats things and the other has tits that spray toxic fumes.  However their mutations go away the following morning(hmm that must be really convenient) Near the end we can see that the Cretines (or Cretones, I forget) are growing stronger in numbers and that in an homage to the movie “Carrie“(the good one from 76 not the crappy remake).  Lauren’s dream may be in fact  a reality.
I really had a fun time with this movie.  Some of the jokes were bad, but they were placed in ways that  still made me laugh.  For example Chrissy is talking with her aunt and she asks what’s on the wall.  The aunt’s response say’s foreshadowing and on the wall itself is a shadow of the number four .  Troma gets a bad rap for saying that the acting is bad, but in this environment everyone was believable in their roles.  Even the most annoying character Eugene(Clay Von Carlowitz) was still pretty memorable and the extras helped sell this as a real place too.  A totally fucked up and deranged place but never the less a real one. Asta Paredes and Catherine Cocoran had good charisma with each other and I could see them doing  stuff outside the Troma universe, separately or together(but I hope they don’t stay away from the company for too long).  The makeup and special effects were really good and I gotta give props for not relying on just computers to get results.  Practical effects will always get the stamp of approval from me.  Some of the musical selections(not counting Rapedoor or that theme song) were kind of annoying.  There is the song called  The Crack of doom( I think that’s what it is) that I did not like, but it’s not used much so I could forgive it.  I look forward to Vol 2. Excelsior.

 

Check out Troma’s website and support Independent Cinema.

http://www.troma.com/.

I will be back tomorrow with Barry of Cinematic Catharsis’s review of The Toxic Avenger IV.